I’m at a point in my recovery where I recognize the behavior that led to the mistakes I made, but I have no interest in re-visiting those points in history if they don’t serve a purpose.

If you are still re-visiting those points in history for the wrong reasons, then you are not at a good point in recovery. If all you can do is wallow in toxicity and throw it around to try and hurt others, then you are not in a good place at all, and you need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and start again. Part of recovery, a big part of being well on the road to a better place in your journey, is being able to move past the hurt others have done to you, and instead look to the hurt you have done to others, and what you can do to ensure that you never repeat those behaviors, and that you instead exhibit healthier behaviors that lift you and others up.

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My therapist thinks a lot of my PTSD issues comes from me trying to quell the urge to deal with my trauma. My fault is in trying to simply push it aside and distract myself with Everyday Life. I’m working on actually working THROUGH my feelings instead of just blowing past them, because I have learned the hard way that difficult emotions are not ones to be ignored. They will wait, until a point, and then make themselves known in order to be acknowledged. I keep having to learn, unfortunately at not just my own expense but also at the expense of others, to not make those feelings wait until the acknowledgment point.