Alyssa’s kayakcident

Category: Personal
Words: 457

One of the more disconcerting parts of parenthood is letting your children go to explore and go on adventures. Alyssa recently discovered kayaking, of all things. She did so well with the rental, and with researching kayaking, so when she stocked up on a 10′ kayak and all of the basic supplies, and had me drop her off at a creek with the promise that she would be BACK and for us (my mother and I) to come BACK (emphasis both mine and hers) for her, I thought nothing of it.

Of course, as the blog title implies, things went awry. Alyssa’s first mistake was deciding to not come back to her starting point, but to drift down the creek…some three miles. When I checked on her location (thank you, Google Maps), she was in the middle of the creek in the middle of the woods, with no way for me to get to her, not even with our SUV.

Her second mistake? She over-estimated her strength and endurance.

Fortunately she knew her limits, and when she realized she was in over her head — stuck in a creek, trapped with cliffs on both sides, and a steep railroad, surrounded by woods, in the dark, etc., she stopped and called for help. Ironically, she let me know she was calling for help a few minutes after I joked to my mother about how funny (but also not funny) it would be if her adventure ended with her being fished out by rangers.

Alyssa’s “simple” kayaking trip down a creek turned into a 5-hour ordeal during which two police officers struggled to find her, only found her after I sent screenshots and coordinates (again, thank you, Google Maps), both of us were freaking out because her phone battery was quickly draining (and got down to 10% by the time the officers did get to her), those same two officers ended up stranded with her because they scrambled down a cliff to get to her but couldn’t get back up, and after several hours of back-and-forth with dispatch over how to GTFO of the wooded area, they eventually climbed/walked out a good mile along the railroad tracks, with the nice but grumbly officers carrying the kayak for her.

Needless to say, lessons were definitely learned! I was just so relieved to have my baby girl back, safe and sound. No need for yelling or scolding…she learned her lesson quickly enough, as she was stranded in the dark, with limited visibility and a dying cell phone, as rescuers struggled to reach her, while she died of embarrassment at getting herself into such a situation.

Alyssa has since spent considerable time doing a lot more research on kayaking safely. 🙂

♥ Jenn
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Reprieve

Category: Private
Words: 128

This is a Members Only post.
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Members Only posts are semi-private, viewable only to people I am comfortable sharing more private details of my life with. While registration on my blog will always be open, not all registrations will be approved for Members Only. Please contact me at x@jenn.love if you’d like to be considered for Members Only posts.

♥ Jenn
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Blog updates in progress

Category: JennDOTLove
Words: 85

I’m working on fixing up Jenn.love. I threw the blog together last year, but haven’t done much with it. Now, with two weeks until my college fall semester begins, I’m going to actually build a layout, tweak plugins, etc. But first I need to fix some core issues.

Please ignore any mess. 🙂

P.S. During my updates I inadvertently wiped my registered users. I’m sorry! Please re-register / register to be considered for private posts (things I’m not comfortable sharing with the internet at large).

♥ Jenn
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Summer semester 2022: done!

Category: Personal
Words: 63

I am proud to say that after working my ass off this summer, all 12 weeks, I aced both intense 12-week classes with As!

Computer Information Systems: 95.19%

CIS 105 (summer 2022)

Computer Networking Technology: 94%

The fall/winter 2022-2023 semester starts on August 29th, though I have a late-start class that starts on September 11th. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited. I have always loved school!

♥ Jenn
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Nothing changes if nothing changes

Category: Private
Words: 1452

This is a Members Only post.
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Members Only posts are semi-private, viewable only to people I am comfortable sharing more private details of my life with. While registration on my blog will always be open, not all registrations will be approved for Members Only. Please contact me at x@jenn.love if you’d like to be considered for Members Only posts.

♥ Jenn
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Some random feelings about recovery, and PTSD (not necessarily related)

Category: Addiction
Words: 284

I’m at a point in my recovery where I recognize the behavior that led to the mistakes I made, but I have no interest in re-visiting those points in history if they don’t serve a purpose.

If you are still re-visiting those points in history for the wrong reasons, then you are not at a good point in recovery. If all you can do is wallow in toxicity and throw it around to try and hurt others, then you are not in a good place at all, and you need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and start again. Part of recovery, a big part of being well on the road to a better place in your journey, is being able to move past the hurt others have done to you, and instead look to the hurt you have done to others, and what you can do to ensure that you never repeat those behaviors, and that you instead exhibit healthier behaviors that lift you and others up.

*

My therapist thinks a lot of my PTSD issues comes from me trying to quell the urge to deal with my trauma. My fault is in trying to simply push it aside and distract myself with Everyday Life. I’m working on actually working THROUGH my feelings instead of just blowing past them, because I have learned the hard way that difficult emotions are not ones to be ignored. They will wait, until a point, and then make themselves known in order to be acknowledged. I keep having to learn, unfortunately at not just my own expense but also at the expense of others, to not make those feelings wait until the acknowledgment point.

♥ Jenn
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Brain damage-amage-amage-amage-amage

Category: Health
Words: 378

Thus far 2022 has been stressful, because I’ve been losing weight non-stop (a problem you think you want until you actually have it happen to you), my electrolyte and other blood levels are everywhere but where they should be, I’m tired all the time (the few times I rely on caffeine via a latte or a caffeine pill barely makes a difference) but I can’t get a good night’s rest even if my life depended on it (again, supplementation, this time via OTC and even RX sleep meds barely make a difference), and then last week, out of nowhere, with naught but about 90 seconds of feeling “off” (sort of like a pre-migraine aura, only intensified) and like my brain was out of sync with my body, I had a fucking GRAND MAL SEIZURE. No, I didn’t stutter. No, you didn’t mis-read. One second I standing up after checking the water level of a drinking fountain I keep under my side of our bed. The next thing I know I’m lying on my floor looking up at my ceiling, Daniel, Alyssa, a cat or two, and two EMTs, and I’m being told I just had a seizure (Daniel had to tell me this four times, because I kept lapsing in and out of consciousness – he said my look of terror each time broke his heart). It lasted for about a minute, during which my eyes were rolled back in my head and my throat was locked up. It was Ryan who found me, and his panicked cry that woke Dan. From a friend and our cat rescue and fostering he knows what a grand mal seizure looks like and what to do, so he was calm and quick about calling 911, calming Ryan, and rolling me to my side and keeping me from injuring myself (further) and being there for me as I came out of it. Besides the seizure, I managed to crack my head on the dresser on the way down – the bruise is still sore, and that injury is now a week and two days old!

Two days of hospitalization for observation, one MRI, two EKGs, and 10 tubes of blood later, I have no answers: just more questions and more frustration and a lot more fear. 😧

♥ Jenn
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Three years clean

Category: Personal
Words: 73

Today, January 19th, 2022, is my three years clean date. I won’t go into detail as to where I was on January 19th, 2019, but let’s just say it was the launch of Rock Bottom.

I’ll always be in chronic pain, and I’ll always need medication to make the pain tolerable. But thanks to my determination to change, Suboxone, and therapy, addiction no longer has any part of my life, and it never again will.

♥ Jenn
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Even a crazy rescue cat lady’s good deeds do not go unpunished.

Category: Cats, Rescue
Words: 1245

My intentions with cat rescue are 100 percent purely to save cats: to provide them with a better life, tailored for each individual cat. For some cats that means TNR. For others, being brought indoors, vetted, and adopted out or sent to a rescue. For still others, euthanasia. It all depends on the cat. But no matter what, my heart and my goals with cat rescue are always aligned with one thing in sight: provide a better quality of life for any cat that strays (get it?) my way. So to be accused of anything other than doing my best for cats with the best of intentions is both shocking and hurtful, even though I have been forewarned and know from hearing of and reading the experiences of others that there will always be baseless accusations and drama bantered about. Even though I knew that inevitably there would be something slung my way, it was still a shock when it happened, especially since ultimately I incurred the undeserved wrath of another rescuer over…you guessed it…the root of all evil: $$$.

Here is what happened (dates are bolded for relevancy):

On January 1, 2022, in a local neighborhood Facebook group, I re-introduced myself as the local crazy cat lady who had taken 30+ cats out of the neighborhood via TNR and rescue, and asked for donations in the form of supplies – cat food, cat litter, bedding, cleaning and disinfecting products, etc. I emphasized that we would appreciate anything offered in the spirit of a donation for the care of the cats in our care currently as well as any coming into our care in the future. I also clarified that I was not asking for any cash donations; I simply would appreciate any items in the categories I had listed (food, litter, bedding, cleaning, disinfecting, etc.).
In this post I also shared photos and descriptions of our current soon-to-be-available-for-adoption kittens (3) and currently-available-for-adoption kittens (3).

On January 2, 2022, a woman, E, contacted me to express interest in my adoptable kittens. But the conversation turned to a sick kitten she knew of. We ended up meeting on this day in order for her to give me this sick kitten to evaluate and treat. She also gave me a $200 Visa gift card as a donation for my rescue efforts. It is important to note that this gift card was a donation, and not an adoption payment or anything of the sort (FWIW I do not charge an adoption fee for any kitten or cat I adopt out; I simply ask for an item donation towards the cats in my care, and that can be whatever a person feels comfortable giving). I was floored by the amount and initially refused it, but she insisted I take it. So I did.

On January 3, 2022, the sick kitten passed away (he was starving and depleted of red blood cells from fleas; all I was able to do for him was comfort/palliative care). E informed me there were siblings – three, to be exact, plus their mother. I knew that if these four were left were they were (outdoors), the kittens would surely die, as Mama would not be able to adequately care for herself and them in the increasingly cold temperatures. So I asked E to meet up with me so I could take custody of them in order to get the mother cat TNRed, and to get the kittens indoors, vetted, and hopefully put up for adoption. This was accomplished by 10:00am that morning.

Later that day I was introduced to M, an experienced rescuer who lives about 40 miles away from me. Our introduction happened through a mutual rescuer. It was M who was given my number, and M who called me. We spent about an hour on the phone, during which I told M our story: how we are not vets or vet techs or even a registered rescue; that we simply TNR and rescue strays who come our way, and that we operate as a sort of “safe landing” for stray cats until I can find them rescues or homes. During our conversation I mentioned the deceased kitten, his very-much-alive siblings, and his mother. M expressed interest in taking the three kittens for her rescue, because, and I quote, “I have a waitlist of adopters who want kittens!” She told me how much she charges per kitten, and her discount for two, and how her rates piss off other rescues in her area because she undercuts them. I was simply relieved to have found a rescue for three kittens within mere hours of receiving them into my home, and we made arrangements for her to get the kittens the next day.

Cue January 4, 2022. It was on this day that E got in touch with M to see how the kittens were doing, and I guess in passing E, not realizing that M was her own “entity” with her own rescue and I’m my own “entity” as such, asked M if the gift card was able to help her out…well, M entirely flipped her fucking shit…at me. I realize this all sounds kind of convoluted, so the bottom line is this:

  • 01/02/22: I was given a $200 cash donation that I did not ask for to help me with my cat rescuing efforts.
  • 01/03/22: Another rescuer introduces herself to me and insists on taking three kittens I have for her own rescue.
  • 01/04/22: This rescuer finds out I was given a gift card 24 hours before I knew of her existence and insists that the gift card belongs to HER and HER rescue since SHE has the kittens I gave her.

Am I wrong for thinking she is wrong? That gift card was given to me as a donation for MY efforts with MY rescuing. Furthermore, if M wants to play it that way, shouldn’t I be sending M an invoice for the vetting I did on those three kittens? There’s food, litter, KMR, kitty milk, vaccines, de-wormer, Revolution, topical flea spray, etc.

Ultimately, my text messages were blown up with all sorts of accusations about me being a thief and a scammer and a fraud and she threatened to “out” me and supposedly so and so people and such and such vet advised her to out me and cut me off and not accept kittens from me and so on and so forth…

I won’t lie: I cried. I was really, really, REALLY upset. This completely broadsided me, and again, I operate on the purest of intentions when it comes to helping cats. I am honest and transparent, and the accusations were shocking and hurtful. Her entire attitude was disgustingly abrasive, too, which didn’t help matters. And, we have mutual rescuers who know and work with both of us, so I was also understandably worried that they might take sides (and there shouldn’t BE sides!) and not want to have anything to do with me – which forget hurting me, it would ultimately hurt catsand at the end of the day that’s all that matters: the cats.

 

It’s been a few days now since all this took place, and as far as I know the dust has settled. I haven’t contacted M or E (who M convinced to call the police to report me for fraud?! Fortunately the police basically politely told her to fuck off!), and I don’t plan on it. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing: rescuing cats.

 

♥ Jenn
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